How to be a crazy dog lady

As a little joke, I bought my sister-in-law a crazy cat lady action figure.  On the back of the package are 17 yes or no questions to determine if indeed you are a crazy cat person.  I realized if I just substitute the word “dog” for “cat” then all my yeses make me a crazy dog person.  Here are a few of the questions I am guilty of answering yes to: 

• Have you ever warned a guest not to sit on a specific piece of furniture because it belongs to the dog?
  • Yes, Ben has his own cushion on our old, hand-me-down black leather couch.  Admittedly, his cushion is a bit gross since his drool has made some cracked and crusty spots.  I guess that automatically makes people not overly eager to sit there. 
• Do you have a website devoted to your dog?
  • Yes, Benjamin has his own myspace page
• Is the sheet of instructions for watching your dog while you’re on vacation longer than a page?  Two pages?   What vacation?
  • Guilty.  Jason and I brought Benjamin to doggie day care on the eve of our wedding and Benjamin stayed there a few days after our wedding so we could go on our honeymoon.  I called the doggie daycare at least twice daily to check on him.  Nowadays, it seems to much of a hassle to go on vacation and wonder how the dog will get taken care of.

Since realizing I am a crazy dog person, other aspects of my personality much more understandable now.  For example, lately I have taken to spelling out words when conversing with Jason about Benjamin’s Christmas presents; as if Benjamin can even understand half the things we talk about.  For example, yesterday I told Jason, “Today I bought Benjamin a special t-r-e-a-t for his s-t-o-c-k-i-n-g.  I wanted to buy him a new  s-q-u-e-a-k-y (toy) but all the ones I saw where made in China and that makes me nervous.”

I also sometime voice aloud Benjamin’s internal thoughts that I may or may not be interpreting correctly.  If Jason is eating a sandwich with meat filling Benjamin will always diligently maintain his post next to the kitchen table.  I will say, “Hey mister daddy, I’d like some sandwich please.”  I always think this is silly and funny, especially since when Benjamin is overly concerned that little morsels of food aren’t dropping to the floor fast enough, he will alternate raising each eyebrow one at a time and looks so endearing, pitiful, and cute all at the same time.  Jason thinks the eyebrow thing is funny but he doesn’t always think my verbalizations of Benjamin’s thoughts are.